Thought I'd add nunace to the 'it doesn't need to be relatable point and your point about oversharing. Let's liken this to charging fees or negotiating work pay. One person may say that charging 1k per day is a HUGE fee while another will see this as gross underpayment for their contributions. It is about threshold - where is your person…
Thought I'd add nunace to the 'it doesn't need to be relatable point and your point about oversharing. Let's liken this to charging fees or negotiating work pay. One person may say that charging 1k per day is a HUGE fee while another will see this as gross underpayment for their contributions. It is about threshold - where is your personal threshold and where is your growth zone?
I am private and measured and find writing personally pretty hard, depending on the subject. BUT I know that if I think I know where my readers thresholds are as my audience then I may be doing them a disservice. Who am I to assume I know what my readers can or cannot be with? It is always about what I am willing to stretch out into sharing. How unlikeable I am willing to be. How safe I wish to keep myself. How people pleasing I feel I must be in order to benefit from whatever this brings me - belonging, community, and so on.
Those of us who either write vulnerable posts and/or encourage people to look beyond relatability do NOT necessarily find this easy to do ourselves. We are no less concerned for who we are and the dangers that might come from doing this. But in the end we each take decisions about whether we are expanders. And perhaps too in what ways we will expand people's understanding. Is that aspirationally, inspirationally, relatably, or educationally. It can be a blend of these too.
Thought I'd add nunace to the 'it doesn't need to be relatable point and your point about oversharing. Let's liken this to charging fees or negotiating work pay. One person may say that charging 1k per day is a HUGE fee while another will see this as gross underpayment for their contributions. It is about threshold - where is your personal threshold and where is your growth zone?
I am private and measured and find writing personally pretty hard, depending on the subject. BUT I know that if I think I know where my readers thresholds are as my audience then I may be doing them a disservice. Who am I to assume I know what my readers can or cannot be with? It is always about what I am willing to stretch out into sharing. How unlikeable I am willing to be. How safe I wish to keep myself. How people pleasing I feel I must be in order to benefit from whatever this brings me - belonging, community, and so on.
Those of us who either write vulnerable posts and/or encourage people to look beyond relatability do NOT necessarily find this easy to do ourselves. We are no less concerned for who we are and the dangers that might come from doing this. But in the end we each take decisions about whether we are expanders. And perhaps too in what ways we will expand people's understanding. Is that aspirationally, inspirationally, relatably, or educationally. It can be a blend of these too.
Here's my popular piece on unlikeability, with prompts to help - it struck a chord https://danusiamalinaderben.substack.com/p/7-prompts-to-free-yourself-from-the